I’m sure plenty of people out there are going through the motions of what I am, or have already felt this way too. When your first born goes to school it’s such a different feeling to just taking them off to pre school or nursery.
I remember the first day I took mine to school, as if it was yesterday! The night before we laid out all his uniform, complete with his new shoes and packed book bag, ready for what the next day would bring us. It was certainly full of excitement I can tell you that! Although the excitement wasn’t what I was feeling. It was the fear and anxiety of leaving him for that amount of time in “big boy school” (as he calls it).
So many emotions run through you at a time like this. It’s nervously snapping pictures of them in their school uniform to share with friends and family members, wandering if you bought enough uniform, even though you frantically bought out the whole of Asda’s back to school section. It’s the worry that someone might say something nasty to them, or they don’t behave for the teachers. Also the feeling that you’re little one won’t cope with the structure, that they won’t eat their lunch, interact with others and so on..
In reality for me, this was all in my head. He absolutely smashed it and continues to every single day. He’s so popular and such a good boy. He enjoys telling me all about his cooked school lunches and that he gets stickers for good reading or tidying up. He makes me so so proud every single day and I know I can rest easy that he’s enjoying waking up every morning going to school.
One thing I can’t quite wrap my head around is just how grown up this makes them. I now have to fight for a kiss or a cuddle when I drop him off, he tells me all about what his friends do at the weekend and the birthday parties he’s been invited too. It’s parents evenings and award ceremony’s and school trips. The little boy I once had who was full of anxiety and worry and who would get upset for the smallest reasons is now the biggest personality going and I grow more and more pride for his achievements every single day.
This is just the first step into the rest of his life. The learning curve he is now riding to become the man he will grow up to be. My clever boy is growing up and it’s hard to let go but I know it’s the right thing. Every day at those school gates I still worry, like any mother would, but I know he is in good hands and he is so incredibly happy.
My point is.. of course you’ll feel every single emotion at this time but I can assure you that more times than not it will pan out just how you want it. My reasons for writing this today is because I know people who are awaiting their confirmations for schools and I just wanted to say that it seems harder than it is but you will be so proud of your babies when this day comes. I cried the whole day on Roo’s first day, and had several nosebleeds because i was so anxious! But picking him up and realising what a difference just one day makes, meant the absolute world.